Posted by Dave Kasper on May 6th, 2007
What is the best sounding word in the world? . . . Your name.
Why is this? It must be programmed into our psyche to feel and react positively to hearing our own name.
Whenever I meet someone with my name, I know I will always remember their name, and usually say something like, “well that’s easy enough to remember,” that is, if I can get it out before they do.
How does it feel when someone gets your name wrong, on the other hand? It is probably one of the most unintentional insults there are. “Hey Dan, how are you?” “It’s Dave.”
Then there is the slightly less insulting mispronunciation of our name, which can arrive in various forms, from acceptable and common, to a flagrant refusal to even try.
Many of us have names that are frequently mispronounced and/or misspelled. Kasper is one of those names that is very easily read and pronounced, while the spelling of it is seldom true, (hence the name of my website).
I have spoken these words almost like a mantra throughout my entire life. Even by the time I finish saying it, a “C” has already been written or typed, and then needs to be corrected, (most times the “C” just gets a vertical line added to the front when it is written).
It is mostly humorous to me now, and I have learned to spell my name prior saying it, (although this seldom works). Now my wife, (and soon my daughter) are the ones who get to accept this little fact of our life, (my wonderful wife handles it exceptionally well already)!
Here is a typical example:
“Hi, I would like to make an appointment for my daughter”
“What is her last name?”
“Kasper, K-a-s-p-e-r.”
“Hmm. . . Has she ever been to this office before”
“Yes, many times”
“. . .Really, . . . I don’t see her in our system. What is the phone number?”
“Did you spell Kasper with a K?”
“Oh, ha ha. . . I spelled it with a C. . . and, here she is.”
Sometimes we hardly notice when our names are spelled or spoken correctly, yet there is an internal bell that silently rings true with us: “Ah, that’s my name there on that piece of paper” or “Yep, that’s me, Mr. Telemarketer. Now please stop calling.”
When our name is misspelled or mispronounced, on the other hand, it is at the very least noteworthy that this person could use to pay a little more attention to detail, (or ask for a spelling or pronunciation). It can also become a life’s nuisance:
“Is this Mr. Caldwell?”
“It’s Cadwallader”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Mr. Cald, wal. . . der . . .er.”
“Cadwallader, like it’s spelled”
“Oh, okay. . . sir . . . may I have a minute of your time?”
“It is highly unlikely”
Then the reverse is inevitably true as well. . .
“Cadwallader, C-a-d-w-a-l-l-a-d-e-r.”
“Ok, C-a-b-w-a. . .”
“It’s C-a-d, as in dog”
“Oh, C-a-d-w-a-l-a . . .”
” Two L’s”
“What?”
“There are two L’s”
“Oh, okay, one more time. C-a-d-w-a-l-l-a-d-e-r? Is that right?”
“Yes it is.”
“Great! Thank you Mr. Caldwell”
For some people, this is a daily occurrence. I have to keep reminding myself that it could be worse. When my ancestors came to America, their last name was Kasprczak. . .well, for about an hour at least.
When it came time to register as an immigrant, the registration clerks took it upon themselves to simplify the paperwork of the new country by renaming many of the new immigrants. They must have thought that Kasper would be a much better addition to this country than Kasprczak, and so they changed it right then and there.
This is why there are so many Smith’s and Brown’s and Green’s in the U.S. Many last names were “simplified” in this way, thereby watering down the melting pot a little.
In another example, I received a fax from someone whom I have been working with for many years. All of my correspondence has my name correctly spelled at the end, emails, fax covers, letters, etc. . .
Yet today I get another quote from them with my name spelled incorrectly in their system. It could be that this person doesn’t even see the quote that ultimately gets faxed to me, yet there it is, on every quotation received from them.
My point is that it is so crucial to be aware of people’s names in every instance. Even when you get the name of someone’s company wrong, it can be insulting. (Okay, sometimes it has to be the name. . . “Thank you for calling Liefbramulich, may we help you?”).
If you find a name uncomfortable to pronounce, you better ask for the correct pronouciation. Once you know it, repeat to yourself over and over until you have it down, and then use it often.
It can be very flattering to hear your name every so often within a conversation, and as long as it is spoken correctly, it can be a subtle compliment to anyone.
People with very difficult names are even more impressed when their name if pronounced correctly. So when you are about to call on Mr. MacGhilleseatheanaich, please be courteous and ask someone for the proper pronunciation first. You will both be glad you did.
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